Rescuing The F-Bomb

I was working as part of a morning radio show in 2003. What I recall is that on one particular morning we had plenty of conversation about how Bono had dropped the F-bomb on live TV the night before.

Accepting a Golden Globe award on behalf of his U2 bandmates, Bono called the moment ‘f*ing brilliant.’

Gasps could be heard nationwide!

While the F-bomb is in the language of virtually every show you watch now, this was broadcast TV, television broadcast on public airwaves and under strict rules from the FCC about what language was allowed and what was not

That word was a definite not. And that is still the case for broadcast TV, although it does slip out from time to time.

When Cher dropped it on NBC’s Today Show a couple of years ago, it was in the context of her quoting someone while telling a story. She had been told it would be okay to say it because it would be bleeped out.

Oopsie!

Anymore, that word has worked its way into everyday language, especially (but not exclusively) for young adults. It’s a very popular word of exclamation.

And I hate that. I hate it, and I object. Here’s why.

Certain situations need - almost demand - a strong support word.

You’ve just backed your car into your spouse’s car. “Oh g0sh darn,” just doesn’t cut it.

Speaking of cutting it, you’ve just jabbed an oyster shucking knife into your hand.

“Wowy wow, that hurts.” Not the words you need. You need a big painful word.

Or how about this? You’ve gotten up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and you ram your little toe into the bed frame. The kind of pain that drops you to the floor grabbing your foot in anguish.

Even the f-bomb won’t work for that. You gotta go bigger.

“F*! F*! F*! F*itty f* f* f*!”

“What happened, dear?”

“I f*ing rammed my f*ing toe into the f*ing bed and it hurts like f*!”

Those are the appropriate moments for the f-bomb.

But if we continue to use that word like hamburger, what do we use when we need steak?

The F-bomb should be steak.