Lotions & Potions

It’s gonna be hard to convince you I don’t think lotions and creams work when I - actually, we - buy so many of them.

Like I tell my dermatologist every time I see her, I need to look pretty. I’ve never figured out why she laughs at that.

I admire people who age gracefully, accepting whatever Father Time throws at them. That ain’t me.

Call me vain, but I don’t like looking weathered. (See what I did there? Weather… vane? Pretty and clever. Rare stuff!)

Check this out.

I’m the one that bought all this.

The creams are all made by the same company - and maybe contain the same product. But their marketing says I need the tube for under my eyes, the black jar for my neck, and the white jar for the rest of my face.

The white jar, by the way, contains apple stem cell. I don’t know what that is, but at its core, it sounded a-peeling. (I can’t stop!!)

Maybe I’ll grow a pair. Of apples.

Recently, I bit on a claim that certain oils can stop hair loss or even promote growth. Bought me some.

According to the label, this product contains:
-grape seed oil
-jojoba oil (?)
-sesame oil
-caster, rosemary, biotin, and vitamin E oils

All it’s done is make my hair oily. Gee, how’d that happen?

I think they left one out.

Snake oil.