Bend It Like Tibby

I’ve enjoyed watching World Cup soccer. Football, for you purists.

I was enjoying it a whole lot more when the US was in it, but world domination of soccer is something we’ve not yet achieved.

Just watching it, though, has allowed me to relive my glory days in the sport.

Not as a player - I never played. I coached.

And I was a good one with an overall record of I don’t know, and I don’t care.

I recall my coaching days beginning with a phone call. It was the local recreation department telling me my 8-year-old brother’s team needed a coach.

No telling how many father’s and brother’s coaching careers have started with a guilt trip.

But I took the bait and subsequently spent several years herding cats.

I love how this ai-generated image has kids in 4 different colored jersies.

You don’t really coach 8-year-olds; you just sorta hope you can teach them what direction to run with the ball.

It doesn’t always work out. Kids like to kick the ball into the net, and it’s not terribly important that it’s the correct net. Find a goal nearest you and SC-O-O-O-ORE!

The kids didn’t care where it registered on the scoreboard. Heck, most of them didn’t know how to read the score. On the scoreboard, teams were designated as ‘HOME’ and ‘VISITOR,’ and I was never ever - not ever - asked which team we were.

Which brings us to the really important question the kids did ask. Actually, there were two.

After a match, I would occasionally get asked if we won. The interesting thing about that question is the answer didn’t matter. Yes or no, they didn’t care. Because either answer was followed by the granddaddy of all inquiries:

“What’s for snacks?”

That’s it. The game is over. Shake hands and find the snacks.

And that question has served as a guide for my entire life. That often it is not about winning or losing as long as there’s good food at the end.

Even after a couple of hours of passionate lovemaking, I sometimes roll out of bed and ask, “what’s for snacks?!”

Full disclosure: I may have taken some creative liberties in bringing you this story.