Tibbytopia

Anyone who travels a lot can tell you what keeps an idyllic setting from being ideal.

Hint: they’re small and whine a lot.

I’m not afraid to say it. Kids ruin travel. If they’re not crying, they’re running round like rats, undisciplined, getting underfoot and in the way.

I’ve never figured out how a place can call itself the happiest place on earth when every kid in a stroller is crying by 5 o’clock because they’re hot, tired and don’t really understand what’s going on to begin with.

Therefore, I have decided to use Ai to help me imagine my own world without kids. My utopia.

Y’all ready for this?

Welcome to Tibbytopia!

Not only are kids banned, you’re banned if you’re even expecting a kid. Either parent. (Tibbytopia does not discriminate.)

You can’t even bring pictures of your kids!

Enter Tibbytopia. The entrance to is a wine and cheese bar.

Food is a big part of Tibbytopia. While the restaurants will be varied and wonderful, pizza will be available in all of them. And every item on the menu will offer a ‘fried’ option.

Imagine fried green salad!

This is Ai failure. Salad with fries is not a fried salad.

And there will be no dress code. Except…

Clothes must be worn in the restaurants. It’s not just that appetites will be lost seeing ugly, naked people, it’s a safety issue. Accidents happen. You ordered hot pizza, not roasted weenies.

There will be an airplane, but it doesn’t fly. You will visit the plane just to experience one with no crying babies. Since the seat backs will have entertainment, the plane will double as the theater. A very quiet theater.

With kids banned, you may be wondering if grocery buggies will still have that space in the top where small children could ride. (You were wondering that, right?)

Indeed, they will. But larger so adults can ride. Who wouldn’t like that?

The swimming pool is where things get really good.

All swimming pools will have bars. We did the bar-in-a-pool thing in Mexico once and thought it was pretty cool. We were slightly alarmed, however, to notice nobody had left their stools even after several hours of drinking.

Tibbytopian designers are still working on addressing this, but there are a couple of ideas being floated around.

Idea #1: Use the basic milking machine approach to ‘hook’ everyone up. Alas, not everyone has the same body parts. I guess we could hook the dudes up. Heck, they’re probably the biggest offenders anyway.

Idea #2: Everyone wears an arm band. It lights up upon detecting a dramatic change in water quality in their immediate surroundings.

Urine trouble, pal!

Having taken great pains to isolate myself from children, including not having any children myself, I know there will come a time I’m gonna need one.

I’ve lived enough life to know if you hang long enough, you’re going to need some help. Somebody to clean up after you, somebody to look after you… to change your diaper.

Tibbytopia is prepared.

While this tale has concluded, I had to share one more Ai image. When creating these images, I used several different Ai tools, giving them identical instruction for each image so that I could choose the one I liked most. The instruction for the above image was ‘create an image of an adult changing station.’

That very same instruction also yielded the image below. And I’m just not sure what I’m seeing.