The Verdict Is In
There are two active lawsuits that have a bit of my attention.
Let us begin with the lawsuit against social media happening in Los Angeles.
While there are thousands of lawsuits against social media companies, I’m specifically focused on the one from the 20-year-old woman who claims the algorithms of social media caused her to become addicted to it around age 10 and has fought depression ever since.
I have a decent grasp on how social media works. Prior to retiring from radio, I was required to extend my on-air presence to social media. In fact, our company had personnel dedicated to keeping up with the changing algorithms of Facebook, etc., to help us best use it.
That doesn’t make me a lawyer, but in my opinion, the case in question here is a parental problem.
If she became addicted to it at age 10, someone should be charging the parents with child neglect, not blaming social media companies.
This is not a jury you want me on.
Before our next case, I think I’ve made clear before I’m no fan of personal injury lawyers: Strong Boy, One Call, We Fight For You.
Nope, nope, nope. You fight for a cut of action.
Short of calling them all evil (I do privately), personal injury attorneys, I believe, contribute to a societal notion of seeing ourselves as victims. If anything in our lives goes wrong, it’s not our fault, it’s someone else’s, and ‘you’re entitled to the compensation you deserve.’ (And your attorney to his share of it.)
Moving on, case #2. The ‘people’ vs. McDonalds. Actually, it’s four dudes and a lawyer vs. Micky D’s.
The claim: McRib sandwiches contain no rib meat.
It’s pork, yes, but not rib meat, so they call the McRib a “deliberate sleight of hand.”
This lawsuit makes as much sense as suing a seafood restaurant for serving hushpuppies.
“Ma’am? Y’all didn’t really put no puppy in here, didja?”
Alas, the foolishness goes on forever, and the party never ends. So let me give any lawyers needing a payday of a few ideas.
-Let’s start with Payday itself. The candy bar. You don’t get paid to eat it. Lawsuit?
Further…
-hamburger has no ham
-your French fries were not made in France
-chicken fingers are not
-boneless chicken wings do not exist
-Lady fingers involve neither
-mountain oysters… not an oyster
Speaking of, my oyster was not named Rockefeller. He was Steve. I was misled and ate him. Now, I’m damaged emotionally. I miss Steve.
SOMEBODY GET ME THE COMPENSATION I DESERVE!!