Lobstah!

“You gotta eat some lobster rolls!”

I can’t tell you how many times we heard that as we prepared to conquer all of the New England states. Except everyone said lob-stah to mimic the way they speak abound Bah-ston and Bah Hah-bah.

Here’s some fun facts about lobster:

-They were once considered the cockroaches of the ocean.

-They were a nuisance for fishermen.

-Lobster was junk meat, often fed to prisoners, slaves or servants because they were throw-aways from fishing.

What changed?

Marketing. Sort of.

The ability to get lobster to other parts of the county that were not New England was crucial. Canning, refrigeration, mass transport (trains) all contributed. Then somehow , magically, this trash fish had its status elevated to delicacy.

These days, your local grocery store anywhere in the country likely carries lobster, but going to New England makes it even more special. You gotta have it!

Unless you’re me.

I knew dang well I wasn’t going to eat any lob-stah because like a few other things I’ve complained about, add lobster to the foods with NO TASTE!

Let me ask you this: Have you ever - ever - seen anyone eat lobster plain?

You haven’t.

It’s not the lobster you love, it’s the butter. Warm, melted butter.

Or in the case of a lobster roll, it’s everything but the lobster meat.

It’s the mayo, the lime, the copious amounts of Old Bay seasoning… whatever goes into an individual’s lobster roll recipe. And it is good!

But not because of the lobster. The lobster is filler.

This makes lobster akin to iceberg lettuce. It’s all about what you put on it.

Sure, you could make the same argument about pasta. But the difference between lettuce and pasta and lobster is price.

Lobster is stupid expensive.

Lobster salad is what goes into a lobster roll. Look what happens to the price of a simple Caesar salad when you throw one scoop of lobster salad on top of it.

One chilly day while we were wandering the tiny states, I broke down and ordered lobster bisque. It was delightful. But nothing about the taste said, ‘this has lobster in it.’

Heck, they could’ve put catfish in it for all I know`.

Except that I really like catfish. Especically fried.

Mmmm. Fried catfish bisque. Now we’re talkin’!